Parents, You are Making Disciples

Many years ago, in what seems like a different life, I was employed by a rental car company. After working on the front lines renting cars, I transitioned into a business office position collecting outstanding balances from customers. I remember my first day with my new co-workers. I was thankful for this new opportunity, but I was also unsure what my exact job would look like. Thankfully, I had a couple of people to come alongside me and to teach me everything I needed to know to be successful at the job.

Becoming a parent, on the other hand, can feel quite the opposite, like you’ve been thrust into a new position without any real experience or training. Sometimes it seems like it is all on-the-job training. Learn as you go. This, of course, is not to slight our parents that worked hard to rear us. Chances are, they probably felt thrust into their position as well.

I have now been a parent for nearly 13 years. Our oldest will officially become a teenager in April, although, she is ready to claim that title now. While I have learned much in my day-to-day school of parenting over the last 13 years, there is one lesson that I am continually reminded of: Parents, you are making disciples.

Whether you are a parent already or a future parent, this post is for you. In an effort to offer some off-the-job training, let me impart the details of this lesson that I’ve learned.

Discipleship happens both intentionally and unintentionally.

I was most recently reminded of this truth when my daughter came home from school and told me, “I’m starting a blog, dad, just like you. I’m going to take lessons from my life and use them to share the Gospel.” I’ve never told her to make videos, make graphics, or write a blog. She has simply watched me do these things and she is imitating me. This literally is discipleship. This is the type of discipleship Jesus modeled with the 12. He said, “Follow me.” Then, he lived his life before them and they began to imitate him.

You may not realize it, but every day you are discipling your children. Whether your discipleship effort is intentional or unintentional, you are discipling your children. More than simply what you tell them directly, they are listening to your conversations with your spouse, with your parents, and with others. They hear not only how you talk to others, but also how you talk about others. Your children see the things you devote yourself to. They see what is most important to you and what takes that top slot in your list of priorities. They listen. They watch. They learn. They imitate. Parents, you are making disciples.

So, the question should not be, “Am I discipling my children?” The question should be, “How am I discipling my children?” What are your children learning from your discipleship? What are they learning to value? Who are they learning to follow?

Therefore, we must be intentional.

Your children will be discipled by you whether you are intentional in your discipleship efforts or not. Therefore, be intentional.

Now, when I tell you to be intentional, I don’t simply mean to have an intentional Bible study with your children or an intentional prayer time. I absolutely think you should do those things, however, those intentional moments are only as good as the rest of your time living before them. As parents, we need to be intentional in our own lives. We need to be intentional in our own walks with Christ.

Your personal devotional time or “quiet time” with the Lord without your children is just as important for your children to see as the time you may have set aside to have a devotional with your children. When I was growing up we had family devotionals, but I also daily saw my parents studying God’s word for themselves. Because of their intentional living, I practice this in my own life, today.

What you want your children to become, they must first see at work in your own life.

I don’t think I am the best dad in the world, although I do have a trophy (a Dundee for you Office fans out there) on my desk from my children that tells me I am. However, by the grace of God, my children have seen me intentionally striving to walk in obedience to the Lord and I am getting to witness the fruit, specifically in my daughter’s life.

In Deuteronomy 6:5-9 God spoke of this form of intentional discipleship saying, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your city gates.”

This passage in Deuteronomy that I love reminds us that not only are we to teach our children these things, but we are to intentionally practice them in our own lives first. Our lives are to be consumed by these truths. Parents, if you want your child to love the Lord, model loving the Lord. If you want your child to walk in obedience to His Word, model walking in obedience to His Word. Be intentional in your discipleship of your children, not simply in what you do with them, but how you live before them.

Parents, you are making disciples. So, make disciples of Christ.